fort lauderdale
This weekend I flew down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to have a joyous reunion with my hometown friends. It was a delightful escape from my everyday life and offered me great relaxation in the form of Brittany reading her extremely sexually explicit book aloud unwarranted, floating around the pool, and Charlotte’s sleeping pills. Wouldn’t trade the experience for the world.
March 26th
I arrived at the Airbnb after a harrowing experience that happens to me almost every time I travel. I greedily used my phone like it had unlimited resources until I hit 20% and realized that I left my charger at home. From there, I was filled with anxiety and used my phone tenderly. May history stop repeating itself.
At the Airbnb, everyone was still out celebrating the birthday girls, so I raided the fridge and engorged myself with the snacks they so kindly purchased early. When they returned, I was not hungry anymore and therefore fully elated to see them! We sang happy birthday to girls who are now our elders and will be treated with deep respect until the rest of us catch up in a few months.
As we wound down for the night, we caught up on the couch where everyone gave me a quick update on their life. I learned a ton of stuff about everyone, but I will not be sharing any of it on the internet.
Clearly paranoid, everyone worked to barricade the front door with chairs. Charlotte skillfully concocted a makeshift spatula contraption to ensure the sliding door would not open, and Shannon additionally barricaded our bedroom door. By the time we went to bed and all the doors had furniture in front of them, I felt like I was on the set of Home Alone and was feeling much less secure than when I first arrived.
March 27th
On this day, I arose abnormally early, my body clearly a little too excited to be in Florida with my gals. I relaxed in the tiki hut and played on my laptop until Kerri, an early bird, joined me outside. Slowly the girls began to stir, and we relaxed by the pool, the Florida sun already hard at work.
The girls left for the beach shortly after, but I stayed behind to work. Luckily, Shannon opted to stay at the Airbnb with me because she obviously likes me the most. I had a peaceful afternoon taking meetings and then floating around the pool with Shannon in my spare time.
When everyone returned, we began to prepare for the grand finale of the day: in-house hibachi. We quickly primped and proceeded to have a photoshoot in the backyard during golden hour. Mak, the hibachi connoisseur, paid no mind to us as we excitedly exclaimed about the lighting and tried many photo formations. Unfortunately, he took a very unflattering group picture of us that won’t be released to the public.
Once Mak finished setting up, we proceeded to our seats and donned the balloon hats he crafted for us. He called us up and allowed us to experience setting the grill afire. In standard hibachi fashion, he also repeatedly shot saki into our mouths. He served us delicious rice, vegetables, and a medley of different meats we had ordered. My highlight was the scallops which only Shannon and I ordered. I benevolently let Charlotte eat one of my scallops.
Clare was served steak which she did not order. She started to have lots of anxiety about eating someone else’s steak portion, and we indeed all found this very unjust.
Before I knew it, the dynamics had changed and suddenly Shannon was shooting sake into Mak’s mouth. Never let Shannon near a gun because her aim was very poor, and Mak suffered as a result. Once we were bursting at the seams, Mak left, and we continued to drink.
After dinner, Clare started to fart like a stink bug which we found offensive, so we had her go outside.
Phebe, both a woman and a provider, served everyone hugo spritzes and margaritas. We passed the evening in the tiki hut and played Picolo. We attempted to play Salad Bowl but messed it up so hard it had to be abandoned immediately. Additionally, the opposing team, composed of Charlotte, Kerri, and Phebe, kept lying about the score, so we decided they were no longer worth engaging with.
Then the night took a turn, and Clare reignited an old high school flame. It went really well, as he responded later that night.
At the end of the night, a few of us made a few others watch the finale of Love Story against their will. It was depressing, and I burst out in tears but made a quick recovery once the Hannah Montana 20th anniversary special was on.
When the night ended, Shannon, Charlotte, and I returned to our bunks, chatted a little, and slipped into peaceful slumber.
March 28th
We got up bright and early for our 10am boat cruise. Kerri made us delicious, moist scrambled eggs with cheese. I immediately gobbled it up alongside Shannon’s toast. When we complimented Kerri’s toast, Shannon immediately brought up her toast, so I want to take the time to say her toast was also exceptional.
On the boat, we met Captain Jack, a man Brittany had already fallen in love with when they were texting about logistics earlier. He was revealed to be a young Swede who grew up in South Florida.
He began the cruise by giving us a tour of the mansions perched over the canal. We were lucky enough to witness the former home of Sandra Bullock, the current home of the woman who started Sunglass Hut, and the home of someone from Massachusetts who won the Powerball. We learned these homes are grossly expensive, and I didn’t fully understand why you would use that money to buy a house on a saltwater canal, so I concluded I must be too poor to appreciate certain luxuries.
Our final destination was a sandbar, an area of shallow water at the intersection of two canals. We docked there and soon the area filled with boats of all kinds. Many carried large groups of girls and guys celebrating bachelors or bachelorettes.
We found our way to another boat that had a slide and took turns sliding down like children. Then Phebe, Clare, and I tossed a football. Phebe can throw a football with the power and precision of an NFL player.
Brittany lost her Ray-Bans in the water, and then I heroically located them with my feet and fished them out.
Later, a pasty, thin white man approached me and revealed that he and his friends were guessing my ethnicity. Given that we were in an exceptionally white environment participating in notably white people activities, I was not surprised. However, I did not approve of being turned into a source of entertainment.
Apologetic and stumbling over his words, the pasty man offered me some drinks, so I collected three watermelon seltzers and took my reparations (as Shannon correctly labeled) back to my boat.
Back on the boat, I vented to Sam and expressed my distaste for the murky canal water that we were simmering in. Once that was out of my system, I returned to the water for one final pee.
Once our tour ended and we were back in the Airbnb, we were overtaken by uncontrollable hunger as everyone devoured leftover hibachi and queso. After eating, we took a group siesta.
For dinner, Phebe grilled us delicious cheeseburgers which we ate under the tiki hut. My thoughts drifted to ice cream shortly after. We walked to an Israeli ice cream shop not too far away and discovered the region to be full of Jewish resources which worked out really well for Brittany. The ice cream was good but not distinctly Israeli.
At home, we settled on the couch, threw on a movie, and ended the day.
March 29th
The day we had all been dreading arrived. Sunday. We fluttered around the kitchen cleaning and organizing. We said our goodbyes and were off, back on track in our own directions, not sure when we may all meet once more…